If Only
by Cataluna-Nicht
Summary: This is a PWP I came up with. I thought that there wasn't enough Hikaru x Sai stories out there. Akira likes Hikaru but doesn't know that Hikaru's with Sai. Sai gets an actual body in this story


_Yume_

A soft hand trailed over his thigh and skimmed past his crotch. Emerald eyes glinted in the shadows as the owner leaned over and captured his lips. Their lips met in a passionate kiss. Each trying to dominate the other. The younger one relented. He let the boy in front of him taste him. He felt happy. The boy moved his mouth and licked his way up and down his jawline. The tongue flickered into an ear. He squirmed in pleasure.

_"Akira…Aishiteru, Akira…" murmured the dual-coloured haired boy in front of him._

_The boy trailed his tongue down the his chest. Slowly and teasingly, the boy flicked his tongue at the hardened nubs. He arched in pleasure. The tongue moved lower…and lower still…_

_The mouth moved down and kissed his throbbing cock. Emerald eyes and a wide smirk was flashed at him before the head moved and engulfed his length. He gasped and arched up in pleasure. The mouth proceeded to do many things to him. Many **pleasurable** things. He came with his eyes closed._

Touya Akira shot up in bed as he awoke from his dream. He looked down at his soaked sheets. He sighed and got up. He proceeded to put his sheets in the washer and replace them with new sheets. Then he went to take a shower.

He used his hands and scrubbed at the skin. His fingers were calloused, strong and applied the right type of pressure, go-player hands…the same as Hikaru's hands…

Akira tilted his head back to let the water run down the column of his neck. His lips parted. "Hikaru," whispered Akira. He wanted to see him again…wanted to play go with him again…he wanted to let his hands slide through the bleached hair.

Akira moaned as the mental images of Hikaru began to torture his libido. He tried to keep his mind on washing but couldn't stop thinking about the hyperactive genki boy. He turned the knob of the shower a bit more to the right side. The lukewarm water trailed gently down his body, like a caress. That part of him, between his thighs, was still throbbing with the after images.

"Oh, Kami!" whimpered Akira as he closed his own hand around it. "Hikaru," he breathed out. He could see it all so vividly now. Those stormy eyes, his angry face, and those pouty, kissable lips. In a flash, Hikaru was here with him now in the bath and it was his hand that closed around and stroked Akira's member and not his own.

Touya was aware of everything around him and the image of Hikaru doing such a thing to him made him feel heady. The water flowing down his chest was becoming more arousing. He imagined what it would be like if he pinned Hikaru to the wall and was tracing Hikaru's perfect ass. When he felt his orgasm overtake him, Akira bit his lips hard so as not to scream his name. He didn't want his parents to hear. What he did want though, was Hikaru. Now more then ever before.

Shortly after, Akira finished his shower and went back to sleep.

"But if white – "

"Then black could – "

"Not if white – "

"I thought about that already and it wouldn't work!" shouted Hikaru at the normally stoic teen across from him.

Akira glared angrily as they began to clear up the board. It was the first time that they had played this week. And when they played, he was disappointed to say the least. Disappointed by the way that Hikaru played. It was totally unlike Hikaru, who though brash, still thought with a straight head when playing go.

He didn't understand why Hikaru was playing so badly. The same thing had happened last year and the year before. And three years ago too. Akira shook his head to clear it of the thoughts. He didn't want to be disturbed anymore. What he wanted was to go home and have nothing to do with Go for the rest of the day though he didn't know why. He honesty loved to play Go and couldn't fathom why he would want to leave but he couldn't do that while Hikaru was still here. Hikaru was his opponent, his rival.

"Ne, Touya, do you want to go to the park now? I don't want to play Go anymore," said Hikaru in a whiny voice.

Akira's mind blanked. It…sounded as if Hikaru was asking him out. He wanted to make sure though.

"Why are you asking me? Don't you usually ask Waya for these type of stuff?" asked Akira.

"I don't really see him right now, do you?" snapped Hikaru.

Akira's heart sank. So Hikaru was asking him because he didn't want to go alone and Waya couldn't go with him. But he couldn't complain. He would still be with Hikaru without Waya or that annoying girl that was Hikaru's best friend – Fujisaki.

"Fine," answered Akira.

"Great!" Hikaru sounded happy.

Hikaru hurried up with the cleaning and leaned across to grab Akira's hand. Ever so slightly, Akira blushed at the contact that felt wonderful against his wrist. Hikaru near dragged Akira to the front desk to get his stuff from Ichikawa before he started to pull Akira in the direction of the park.

Akira tried not to think about Shindou as they walked towards the park. He was glad that he was going to the park with Hikaru without Waya. Akira was wearing his usual button up shirt and slacks. He didn't hope for much but he did wish that Hikaru liked what he was wearing like many of the other people that he caught staring at him with unabashed lust as he walked past them. Now, if only that was Hikaru staring like that at him…

"Let's sit there," said Hikaru as he pointed to a bench underneath the shade. "Ne, Touya, doesn't it hurt to sit like that? Stiff as a board?

"No, it doesn't hurt," answered Akira from beside Hikaru. "I'm used to it by now."

"Oh," murmured Hikaru softly.

The two stayed silent for a while, enjoying each other's presence. Barely ten minutes later, Hikaru spoke again, snapping Akira out of his stupor. He had been staring at his crush.

"Ne, Touya, do you want ice cream? I'll pay," Hikaru was bored and he was afraid that Touya would leave. Touya had been staring at him for a while and Hikaru thought that Touya had wanted to tell him that he wanted to leave but couldn't find a way to tell Hikaru politely – like he did everything else. Hikaru couldn't stand the thought of being by himself. Not right now at least. He missed _him_ so much.

Seeing Hikaru like that, Akira could feel a pull in his groin. The butterflies in his stomach seemed to multiply.

"S-sure," Akira replied. He cursed himself for stuttering. He probably sounded really stupid.

"What flavour do you want?" chirped Hikaru.

"Um, vanilla then. And I can pay for myself," Akira answered.

"It's okay. I'll get you vanilla then. Wait here for me," said Hikaru before he dashed off to the vendor.

Akira sat there, looking at Hikaru's backside as he bounced away. Though they were 18 now, Hikaru still hadn't lost any of his innocence, nor his happiness. It was so…cute to Akira. The little bounce in his ass didn't falter as he slowed down. It was really sexy, in Akira's point of view. As he sat there, he didn't notice the two girls approaching him.

They draped themselves around either side of him on the bench.

"Hey sexy," one of the girls purred.

Akira didn't turn to face her. He did snapped out of his daze though. He hadn't actually realized that there were two girls around him. He chose to ignore them now that he did.

"Hey cutie, we're talking to you," the other one whispered.

"I'm sorry, but I'm here with someone," said Akira politely even though he wanted to run away from those two girls very badly. The urge was almost overwhelming.

"Really?" the first one asked. "I don't see anyone? Do you, Sora?"

"No, I don't Rika," answered the second one.

"He's with me," barged in a voice, not caring if he was rude.

Three pairs of eyes turned to the speaker holding two ice cream cones. Akira nearly jumped up to get away from the girls. He stood beside Hikaru.

"Now the two of you, please leave," said Hikaru harshly.

"Oh? But I don't actually think that he is yours," purred Rika.

"Yes, he is," answered Hikaru in a vehement tone.

Hikaru then leaned across and captured Akira's lips in his own. Akira's eyes widened in shock. The two girls glared at Hikaru and then wandered off.

As soon as they were gone, Hikaru let go of Akira's lips.

"Sorry about that Touya but at least the girls went away," murmured Hikaru, grinning easily. "You sure have a lot of fans."

Akira's eyes were still wide. He didn't know how to act and what to do, but seeing Hikaru grinning like that told him that the kiss meant nothing to Hikaru, he didn't even hear what Hikaru was saying to him.

"You…you…how dare you!" Akira spat out as he slapped Hikaru across the cheek and ran off.

----

When Akira reached his house, he took of his shoes and went directly to his room and threw himself on the bed, not caring that he was being like a child (for once). Akira was in turmoil. What should have been a wonderful dream was now a dreadful nightmare. No, that wouldn't be right. He had never had any nightmares that when Hikaru kissed **_him_**, he would slap Hikaru and then run away. He kept trying to repeat to himself that Hikaru did not just kiss him. But it wouldn't work, he could still feel Hikaru's lips on his own. And he could smell Hikaru's scent lingering on his clothes, if only a little.

Akira whimpered as his first tears since he was a small child, fell. He made no attempt to remove them. It was all his fault. What should have been the perfect chance to tell Hikaru that he liked him, what should have been the perfect chance to kiss Hikaru the way that he wanted to was all ruined because of his inability to express his feelings. Why did he have to slap Hikaru and run away?

Akira's complexion paled even more and more tears fell, he was sobbing now, he just remembered that he slapped Hikaru. If Hikaru disliked him before, as he was sure that Waya convinced him to – though Hikaru would probably have opposed to that because he was too nice, Hikaru must hate him now. Waya was his friend and he, himself was Hikaru's rival, if only in Go. Though Akira's didn't use all his strength, his calloused hands would have left a nasty mark along with whatever was going to be there.

Akira whimpered again. He really wished that this was a dream and when he waked up, he'll find that it never happened and tomorrow was his match with Hikaru. He doubted that apologizing at this point was going to work, but he was still going to try. Right now, he needed to sleep, he was emotionally drained.


End file.
